Time - Why Won't it Stop?

This Friday, my sweet precious boy will be a year old. Where does the time go? I know that is a so overused question but seriously, I feel like there is a black hole in my life somewhere just sucking all the time out of it. It's lost and gone forever. I have been so emotional lately (my poor husband). I wondered out loud today if this was a normal mother thing...if all mothers go a little crazy at the one year mark because they realize that in like 2 more seconds, that little child is going to be all grown up. I've been weepy off and on all weekend and it's not even officially his birthday.

But in the midst of it all, God found a way to speak to me....on the way home from a last minute Publix run at 9:30 this morning (mid cake baking, I ran out of powdered sugar). I just started crying randomly again (go figure!) but this time they were tears of pure joy. I just thanked God for the blessing of that sweet little boy that I am certain I don't thank Him enough for and then I just started giving thanks for all the blessings in my life that I tend to take for granted sometimes. I asked Him, "God, what did I do to deserve such goodness?" And that's when He whispered the answer to me: "That's the beauty of grace, My daughter. You don't deserve it. And yet, I still give it to you." Oh, how humbling. I began to ask forgiveness for not trusting Him like I should...for being worried about finances. I mean, for the last 24 years of my life, He has provided. So why on earth would I doubt that now? I told Him from now on, our finances were in His hands and I would trust in His timing for this railroad job for Jason and trust that He would provide what we needed WHEN we needed it. And what do I get in return? Jason got paid $75 today for a job he did for a family member several months ago. Others were worried about him not being paid but for some reason, we didn't sweat it. And in our time of need, wondering if we would have enough to make it to the end of the month to my payday, God came through...like He always has, always does, and always will.

Aside from that, I know that this week will end up being busy and I probably won't get a chance to post this so I'm going to now. This is my poem to my precious little boy, nothing out of this world but just trying to put into words how this 1st birthday business it affecting me.

I Won't Blink

It was love at first sight
My heart was yours
Not a minute old
And I loved you to my core

Time stood still
If only for a moment
But when I saw you
I knew you were heaven sent

For only God can create
Such a beautiful gift
Because you, my son
Give my spirit a lift

I cannot believe
That a year has passed
If I could just stop time
Or make these moments last

I only wish
That I could guarantee
That years from now
You'll still need me

Oh sweet baby boy
You must know
How much I love you
And every second it grows

I know I can't stop time
That's silly to think
So from here on out
I just won't blink.

Tebowing?

I know that I might catch a lot of flack for this…that is if anyone even reads this blog and actually disagrees...especially if the creators of tebowing.com caught wind of this. But I’m going to write it anyway.

Let me first say that I am a huge fan of Timothy Tebow. I was born a Florida Gator fan and have remained so through their terribly terrible seasons, their okay seasons, the Tebow seasons, and yes, the post Tebow seasons.  I became an even bigger fan during those famed Tebow days, not only because he brought us some great seasons, but more so for what he stood for. As a Christian, I wholeheartedly respect that man and how he tries to use his platform to glorify Christ. I have just one issue. This issue is NOT his fault. He did not coin the term nor does he really have any control over what his rabid fans do to honor him & I doubt it’s a battle he would choose to fight anyway seeing as how he has too many.

This new term, “tebowing,” has become the newest thing. I’ve seen the ads on the side of facebook but just recently read an editorial by the NY Times about the whole anomaly. Yes, the editorial is a month old but I came across it while searching for editorials for my students to complete a project. My co-worker had a copy of this one and it really interested me. In the piece, “Tebowing on the Gridiron, and Off,” it talks about Tebow’s pre-game “posture” of taking a knee and lowering his head to his fist before a game. The fact that Tebow does this does not surprise or shock me. He is a disciple of Christ having a talk with his best friend before a game. And wait for it…here’s the clencher…it’s actually NOT called Tebowing as so many have begun to say. It’s called PRAYING. And no matter how amazing some think this is, it has actually been done long before Tebow  was even heard of and hopefully, it will be done long after he is gone.

I have nothing but respect for a man who faithfully kneels to his Creator to say a prayer before a game. Does he pray for a win? Perhaps. But after reading his book Through my Eyes, I rather believe that he prays that his actions in the game would glorify the Lord and that he would play his best.

With all that said, I have not watched one Denver Broncos game, mostly because when I did have cable, I could never find the game and now that I don’t have cable, well I simply can’t. But when I see the thousands of posts about him on a Sunday evening on facebook, I faithfully google the Broncos and check out the updates of his latest 11^th hour win…because, well, that is his trend as of late.

My problem with the term “tebowing” stems not from any disappointment with the man himself; it stems from the fact that the term for a reverent conversation with the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, has been degraded to a term named after an imperfect HUMAN. On tebowing.com’s site, it lists the (for lack of a better word) formal definition as “(vb) to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.” Well, that’s all fine and dandy but now you have all these pictures of people supposedly “tebowing” in front of different back drops. But if the definition rings true, how many of those pictures are really legit? Are those people all ACTUALLY praying while in that position? I dare say (and yes, this is absolutely a judgment on my part) not.

I fear, and it has already begun, that Tebow is going to be held in higher regard than the one that he himself is trying to glorify. Don’t believe me? Check out Mark Kriegel’s most recent article here. The most jaw dropping line for me? “I can’t think of an athlete, who has been judged by such bipolar standards. Tebow began the season as a bum. Then he became a savior (not just the garden-variety redeemer of a franchise, but spoken of as a true messianic figure).” Let’s get one thing straight here, people. Tim Tebow is NOT a savior. And if he were sitting with me while I was typing this, I think he would be the first to agree. There is only ONE savior and that is Jesus Christ…the very person that Tebow uses his platform to bring praise and honor to so stop twisting it. Tebow is a wonderful man, a great football player, and a good quarterback but he is not a savior. Let’s reserve that term for the one man who deserves it…the One who came to give His life so that we could live the lives that we do.

As wonderful as Tebow is, he is still human, and if we continue to put him up high on this pedestal, one of these days, a lot of people are going to be disappointed. If you think he is beyond messing up, you have another thing coming. Tim Tebow, like the rest of us Christ followers, is just an imperfect and ordinary man saved by grace who just so happens to have an extraordinary platform to bring honor to his Savior, Jesus Christ. If the rest of the sports world can’t get that through their thick skulls, then we are going to have a serious mess to clean up one day.

With all that said, my respect for the man remains unwavering as does my faith in the One that he and I both worship – our Heavenly Father – and HE, not any man, should be first!

A Glance Back and a Look Forward

This year has been a year of firsts for us. Jason and I bought our first home and welcomed our first child into the world. I became a working mommy and Jason ended up becoming a stay at home dad. We also decided to leave Midway and join Fuel Community Church with so many others that we are connected with.

This year has been a good one. I said goodbye to last school year which was awful and welcomed a new one which hasn't been too shabby. We've watched for an entire year our baby boy grow and learn and discover the world around him. It has also been one of loss for many, including us. First it was Bubba Monroe, a member of our church, then our neighbor across the street passed from surgery complications, the neighbor I lived next to for 17 years died for very different reasons, and then a friend from high school died suddenly and tragically. Four deaths...but this year also brought four new little guys into the world. First was Preston, my nephew. Then was my amazing son, Gabriel. Then was my friend Charisse's adorable little guy, Anson and just a month or so ago was my friend Ciara's handsome new addition, Josiah. Others were born too but these are the ones I consider myself closest too.

Gabriel has spent time with both sets of great grandparents on my side (something not many kids are lucky enough to do). They are in love with him and I think the feeling is mutual. In just the last month or so, Gabriel has learned to wave, clap, blow raspberries, stand on his own without pulling himself up and is getting steadier on his feet.

We spent our first Christmas with him in Alabama with my grandparents, my mom, and her roomie. He enjoyed it and it was nice to spend time in a place that holds so many special memories for me.

As lovely as 2011 has been, it has not been without its challenges and I am not sorry to see it go. I am looking forward to 2012. I feel like 2012 is our year. I have written down many goals and this time next year, I expect to look back and say that I accomplished every one. Keep me accountable people. I'll need all the support, prayer, and help I can get. So here it is. This is what I wrote down in my journal. This is my look forward...

New Year's Goals 2012
1. Read through the Bible completely.
2. Spend quiet time with God daily.
3. Read at least one book a month.
4. Get some form of exercise daily.
5. Eat healthier, count calories, and treat my body like the temple of God.
6. Keep my house clean and get organized.
7. Get out of credit card debt and save money.
8. Set aside at least one night a month to do something special with my husband (babysitter required).
9. Take more pictures - of Gabriel and us and everyone.
10. Be more positive. Smile more. Don't take life so seriously. Find the good in every person that drives me crazy. Pray. Give. Be kind. Laugh. Be who I was and am created to be.


Bonus goals: Finish my book! 
                    Learn a new skill!


 I will accomplish these goals in 2012. These are long term  and will last all year. I will not give up. If I falter or fall, I will get back up. I am claiming 2012 as the year I do what I was meant to do. I will not fail. I will not listen to Satan's lies. I can and will do all these things through Christ because He alone gives me strength. I will succeed. 

Goodbye, 2011. Look out, 2012!

All In, Souled Out, Fueled Up

My oh my has it ever been a busy couple of weeks! I feel like it's been FOREVER since I've updated.

Christmas break begins today and I could not be more ready for it. I love my students but sometimes they DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!

Tonight I'm going out with a ton of co-workers to Outback. Should be good times!

So much I want to say..

A few weeks ago, we started meeting with the new church plant. Yes, we did decide to join with the men from our previous church. We're meeting at one of the men's houses and it has been absolutely awesome. We have totally and completely caught the vision - reaching the lost of Lakeland and beyond and loving them right where they're at. We're not concerned about making money for the church itself but using that money to help those in need. Case in point - the ENTIRE offering Sunday night (that's when we meet) went to a family with an 18 month old with Leukemia. That's what it's all about...simply being "all in, souled out, and fueled up!"

So, Sunday will be my last official day at Midway. I committed to the Christmas special so I stayed to do that but after Sunday, we will officially leave. I still love the people there and it absolutely has nothing to do with anyone personally but we just prayed and felt God pulling us to FUEL. In God's timing, the building will be in North Lakeland (right where we live) but we're not worried about a building right now. We're concerned with reaching people for Christ.

I've started writing a new book. I really like where I'm headed with it and can't wait to see how it turns out. I just wish I had a nice space to work at. Right now I'm using the computer that's hooked to our big screen. Nice 52 inch monitor but I'd rather have a cozy little haven to work in where I can keep my stuff organized and can write and type and not monopolize the TV.

Hubby has a possible job opportunity with CSX - the railroad. This job would mean a world of difference to our family financially so we are praying hard that he gets it. It would allow us to pay off debt, fix up the house, GIVE! We both have such a heart to give but just don't have it. I was worried about child care but have been emailing back and forth with a sweet woman who is starting one here in north Lakeland. She seems great and we have an appointment for a private tour of her home daycare on January 7th. Her prices are very close to regular daycare costs BUT I can have the peace of mind that he is being given the proper attention because she will only have 8 kids at maximum. Her philosophies and eveything that I have read sound awesome! And the cost won't be an issue AT ALL if he gets this job. So pray, pray, pray! If When he gets this job, after we pay off debt and save up some money, I will probably take a year or two or more off to stay home with Gabe, focus on my writing, and hopefully be able to homeschool when that time comes.

Well, I'm going to try and get some stuff cleaned up around here before my hubby and baby boy get home. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tis' the Season - part 2

Tis' the season to give...and give cheerfully.

One of my goals as a mother is to teach Gabriel about giving. I don't want him to be selfish. I want him to understand how blessed he truly is and I want him to see past what is immediately around him and be able to see those who are less fortunate than us and those who just need someone to give them...something.

Today was not a bad day...although for the most part, it felt like any other ordinary day. We just took a couple hours out to head to hubby's Aunt's for some REALLY good dinner. Seriously, it was REALLY good. "Sweet potato pie made me shut my mouth." Literally. I don't even like sweet potatoes...but this dish was off the chiz-ain. Okay, sorry, getting off topic.

His Aunt Gloria is that woman who will cook for an army and then insist you eat half of it. Okay, that's exaggerating. But it really is more effort to argue with her and tell her you don't want anymore than it is to actually just go get more. So before we left, I gave in and took the to go boxes she was handing me and filled them with some mashed potatoes, turkey, ham, stuffing, and mac-n-cheese. I slyly left the 3rd box she gave me for dessert in the garage. We didn't need any dessert. Now I wish I had gotten some...because our food never actually made it home.

We were stopped at a red light at the intersection of County Line Rd and US 92 when we saw a lady on the side of the road holding a sign. We didn't know if it was just a sign asking for work or what but Jason made the comment, "She shouldn't be out here. She should be somewhere eating a nice meal." I looked at him, I looked at her, and I then I looked down at the 2 full to go boxes of food and pointed at them. We both smiled but were kinda stuck. She was on the right hand side of the road and were in the far left lane. As if in answer to our dilemma, she crossed over to our side of the road. It was like God saying, "Hey, no excuses now." Jason rolled down the window and held out both boxes. She came over, a grin on her face and said, "I'd rather have this than money any day of the week. Thank you!" Jason told her Happy Thanksgiving and then the light turned green.

I'm not telling this to toot our own horns. I don't care about recognition. I care about that woman and so many others like her. And it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight on our drive home. Instead of whining or complaining about the fact that we live paycheck to paycheck, I should be thanking God for the ability to do so. So many others can't. That's why so many like that woman stand on the side of the road with a cardboard sign begging for anything. How many times do we just pass those people by almost scoffing at them? Nine times out of ten...they didn't choose that life for themselves. If we have it to give, then why not give, and give without reservation, without a second thought. After all, Jesus said, "What you do to the least of these, you do unto Me." Hebrews 13 also talks about not neglecting hospitality because some have entertained angels unaware.

So...the next time you see one of those downtrodden, yet beautiful, people, ask yourself what you would do if that were an angel or Jesus Himself standing on the side of the road. Would you just pass them by?

I pray that Thanksgiving meal was enough to fill that woman's belly for the night and I pray she finds a warm place to sleep...everyone deserves at least that.

Happy Thanksgiving...and thanks for being a reader of my blog. I appreciate you....whoever you are.

Tis' the Season...

To be jolly?

To spend time with family?

To bake cookies and cakes and fill your house with all those wonderful scents?

No...apparently, for some, it is the season to camp out at Best Buy days before Black Friday.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like deals just as well as the next person and I enjoy getting things at a huge bargain. And yes, my husband's older brother and s-i-l pretty much camped out last year for us to get us the washer/dryer set that was on sale (which we got and I truly appreciate it) except they weren't out there days in advance.

But I pulled into the Best Buy parking lot here in Lakeland yesterday because our coffee maker went kapput and we needed a new one and I see a line of people already camped out. A tent, lawn chairs, blankets, etc. were strewn about the sidewalk. I think one of the guys noticed the look on my face as I drove past...one I'm sure was a look of disgust. The disgust was not toward those particular people but at the whole big affair. People put so much time and energy into so many things and around the holidays, it's waiting in line for that one Black Friday deal they are looking to score. But what is the point really?

Imagine...just imagine...what this world would be like if we all (I'm at the top of the list here) put that type of time, energy, and labor into helping others, spreading the Good News, giving back, advancing the Kingdom that awaits us? I'm seriously talking to myself here too. I may not camp out at Best Buy but there are plenty of others things that I spend my time and energy on rather than what I should be spending it on. This world has its priorities so screwed up and while they just seem to get worse, I am desperately trying to put mine in the correct order. I'm not waiting until the New Year to break make my New Years Resolutions. I'm starting now. My number one priority should be Christ. I should wake every morning thanking Him for another day and should spend each day in prayer and devotion. Number two should be my family. The TV, facebook, dinner, grades, lesson plans, even this blog should all wait until I've spent time with my husband and son. Number three should be my relationships with people. I am just as guilty of not keeping up with people. I need to call people or make a date with people to see them and catch up. I'm not promised tomorrow. In last place would be my job. Yes, it is what pays for the bills and puts food on the table and gas in my car...but it is what I do, not who I am. My job should not consume me and I refuse to let it. When I am there from 8-4, I will give my 100% effort to those kids but when I come home, home is where ALL of me needs to be.

I am so excited about this season. Last Christmas we were in between homes and didn't get to decorate or put our tree up. This year, we are pulling out all the stops...with what we've got anyway. I refuse to stress over the small things this season. I have been fully blessed. There are so many hurting and grieving people out there...people that have lost loved ones and will be spending their first year without that individual. I am grateful that person is not me but pray that God would wrap His peace and comfort around those walking through it. You are not forgotten.

So, in closing....for me & hopefully for you too, tis' the season (always) to be thankful, to reach out, and to love.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Modest Proposal...

So I went to Plant City tonight to get my hair done and laying on the table was a Plant City paper of some sort. I don't know what it's called but it has local stories, events, etc. in it. On the front cover is a picture of a 14 year old Plant City pagent girl. Beautiful girl...with the most revealing dress. The slit in the front literally went aaaaaall the way up. I almost swallowed my tongue. FOURTEEN! It looked like a dress Britney Spears would wear. And I'm sorry, I really am not judging....but why are we, as a society, teaching our young "ladies" that it's okay to dress like a $2 hooker? Now maybe that's harsh...and if you read my blog and you happen to know the girl on the front of that paper, I mean no ill will. I am sure she is just as beautiful on the inside, but I just have a proposal to make...

I see it the schools, in the mall, in the grocery store, and worst of all....in the church. Young girls and women wearing revealing tops, or short skirts/dresses, or jeans so tight they look like they've been painted on, or short and tight shorts. As Christ followers, we are supposed to set a higher standard and I will tell you right now, half the time, I think we dress just like the rest of the world. I learned several years ago just how my dress affects the male brain. Let me just say, I stopped wearing certain articles of clothing after I learned that information. And now that I'm older and I'm married, I check with my husband if I'm not sure about a certain top or dress/skirt. I can dress all sorts of revealing in the privacy of my own home in front of my own husband...because we are MARRIED... and he's allowed to have those thoughts about me. But why in the WORLD would I want to dress like that for anyone else's man? I don't and I wouldn't...but plenty of women do.

Now I'm not perfect but I've been a proponent for modesty since I was in high school. I never ever desired to draw attention to myself in THAT way and I guess I just don't understand that mindset. I mean, if you've got it, congratulations on having a nice body....but does my husband need to see what you've got? No ma'am...

I think all women, before going out in public in certain questionable clothing, should ask themselves what their motive is. Is it because you're just really comfortable in that clothing and that's the only article of clothing fit for that occasion/event or are you hoping to get attention from it? Be honest with yourself. And if you're married, then why do you want to show off what should only be for your husband? Do you want some other woman showing off her goods to YOUR man? Yea, I didn't think so. So I propose that Christian women start a movement of modesty. You can still be stylish and yes, even sexy, while dressing modestly and covering up. Trust me: men will respect you more.

In Proverbs 31:25, the Bible speaking about the virtuous woman states, "She is clothed with strength and dignity." I wonder...what would that look like in the physical sense? Do you see strength and dignity in a woman wearing a skirt or dress that is dangerously close to showing other treasures or a top that reveals more boobage than necessary?

I don't want to make my fellow brothers in Christ stumble. I want to clothe myself inwardly and outwardly with strength and dignity, and anything less is and should be unacceptable. I would hope that if something I wore caused another brother to stumble, that someone would be bold but loving enough to tell me.

So ladies, let's examine our dress and let's vow to be modest. If you're not sure what that looks like, ask a guy you trust to tell you what pops in his head immediately when he sees women dressed in certain things....trust me, you might get an education. And you might think twice about those super skinny jeans or that low cut top....