A Good Neighbor is Hard to Find...

Generations ago I believe your next door neighbor was as close as family. These days, you're lucky if you even know your next door neighbor's name - first, because people just aren't that nice anymore and second, because people don't stay in one place that long. But, I was lucky. I grew up in a house sandwiched between two sets of great neighbors. On the left was the boy my age who lived with his father and grandparents who were ultra sweet. He and I played tag and soccer, rode our bikes together, and climbed the tree in his front yard. Then, there was the precious older couple on the right...the couple in the red house. 

I adored that couple growing up. I would walk over to Mary & Charlie's  house to visit and Miss Mary would feed me fig newtons. I rode my bike down their long driveway (sprained my wrist once there too) daily. I ate Miss Mary's cooking, played with their grandkids, watched Charlie tinker with his RC Airplanes or other projects, and just go over to visit and chat. Mary passed away 6 years ago when I was a senior in high school. That was tough. For years I had watched the two of them walk their dog together down the street almost every night and all of the sudden, it was just him. Fifty-five years of love and marriage with those two and suddenly, his sweet wife was taken to be with the Lord. But then on Saturday, the other half of that legacy left this life too. I choose not to go into the details of Charlie's passing because it's not my place but this past week has been rough, especially on my mom who still lives next to the red house. My husband and I went up last night so we could be at the service today. When we pulled into the driveway and I looked at that red house that holds so many childhood memories, I broke down. Hubby held me as I let it out before we went inside. I had to be strong for my mom as she was already struggling. 

Charlie lived a long life of 84 years. For 55 years of it, he had the love of a magnificent woman. He loved the Lord, loved his children and grandchildren, and was a GOOD neighbor...truly good, in every sense of the word. He was always there to lend a hand, to help out. He was a true servant and will be truly missed. You don't find neighbors like that anymore. You just don't. I'm going to miss seeing him out on his front porch swing, the swing that his kids told my mom she could have, the swing he built, the swing that he and Mary used to sit on in the backyard that he later installed in the front, the one thing that holds sentimental value to my mom. 

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at the red house the same, knowing he's not there. But I will tell you this...whoever has their mansion in Heaven next to him, is a very lucky one indeed...because in this life - a good neighbor is just hard to find.

Ten Years Ago Today...

Has it truly been ten years?

It's crazy how most days I can't remember what I had for breakfast but on that fateful day 10 years ago, I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing.

Ten years ago today...

I was a freshman in high school in Miss Vallance's biology class in the "square" building at Vanguard High in Ocala. The bell was about to ring for 2nd period when another teacher on the hall came and told our teacher that a plane had hit one of the twin towers.

"Really?"
"Yes, I had CNN on and just heard the news. Turn on your TV."

We had no idea that by the time the bell rang and we made it to 2nd period, that another plane would hit the 2nd tower. As we filed into Ms. Meierhenry's algebra class, I felt the mood shift completely as our eyes focused on the TV screen at the front of the room. We sat down in our seats, our eyes glued to the two smoldering buildings. Not much was spoken in that hour and a half. No lesson was taught. We all just sat there watching our country change forever...watching the skyline of New York City morph into something unrecognizable. We watched in disbelief as the first and then the second tower crumbled to the ground.

I remember trying to comfort a friend who knew her older brother worked in one of the towers and though she couldn't be certain which floor, she knew he was up there in one of the top ones. She was scared and I believe made a few trips to the restroom as she was overcome by fear and anxiety. Yes, he was at work that day, but he was on one of the lower floors when the plane hit and was able to get out...one of the lucky ones.

I remember wondering why and asking questions. I was only 14. I didn't understand terrorism or what the ramifications would really be because of this day. And while none of my loved ones were taken, I believe we all suffered heartbreaking loss that day but I also believe we are all survivors.

September 11, 2001 is a day that we will all remember. It is a day that changed so many lives and altered so many fates. But it is a day that brought the people of our country closer and I think, for a fleeting moment, caused us all to forget about our differences and stand by each other.

Yes, America changed that day. But now, as you reflect back...can you see that it changed YOU permanently? I honestly don't think I can. But as I look back during this 10th Anniversary, I am reminded yet again that I am not promised tomorrow...a lesson I was reminded of not too long ago. Life is too short to sweat the small imperfections and it's too short not to celebrate the small victories.

Here's to those that lost their lives and those that lost the lives of  loved ones. Here's to those that gave their lives trying to save others and to those that became heroes in that Pennsylvania field.

You are gone...but not forgotten.

I will never forget.

                                                            To the victims and their families...

Just a Bunch of Everything...

Wow! It's been quite a while since I updated...and not for lack of wanting to. I just never seem to find the time. Since going back to work, life has been a whirlwind. I feel like from the time I get up to the time I go to bed, I'm just running around like a chicken with my head cut off...or running around trying to catch myself. I never do. It's almost the end of the 3rd week of school with the kids and so far, I'm loving this year. Yes, we still have loads we have to do...even more so than last year since we are Correct 2...again. BUT...my attitude is so much better. I don't feel like I'm drowning with no way out. I'm actually happy to go to work. Wait, is this me writing this? Ha!

But seriously, I think God has blessed me with a great group of kids and a good attitude toward the stuff we have to do. I know the importance of what we have to accomplish this year and I feel so much more up to the challenge than the last 2 years. I've approached certain situations differently, tried to stay positive, and tried to get stuff done in a decent amount of time. I'm now team leader of our core team so taking over that position will be a definite learning and growing process for me. I'm considering taking an after school tutoring job for some extra money...at least until Christmas. Praying about it because I know it will take me away from my sweet boy even more. And speaking of which...

Gabriel is growing at ridiculous speeds. I am constantly amazed at each new development. One day, he's trying to crawl but not quite able to and the next day, he is all over the place. One day he can only scoot backwards in his walker and then the next day he is zooming through the house. One day he can only pull up to his knees and the next he's pulling up to standing on everything he comes in contact with. He sleeps 8-10 hours a night, waking intermittently needing his binky because he can't find it or because his diaper is too full (he pees constantly). He's so happy in the morning when he wakes up for his first bottle. How a human being can be so happy that early in the morning is beyond me but it sure does give me a boost of energy to see his smiling face. He loves being home with daddy everyday and boy do they have fun. I love hearing about their day and I love to see Gabe smile when I walk in the door. I still do his nighttime routine but daddy and I also pray over him every night...praying for his safety, the day of his salvation, and then other things. I think it's one of the sweetest moments of my entire day...especially when he looks up from his crib and smiles up at us while we're praying-unless he's fallen asleep during his last bottle and then he's already in dreamland.

Two weeks ago, our neighbor across the street passed away after complications of a major surgery. His wife, thankfully, has had family down to be with her for a few weeks but we're going to definitely have to go over a lot more often after they are gone. We heard the ambulance coming one night and just knew it was for him. Jason took her and her daughter to the hospital that night and he passed the following morning. It's been so strange not to see him out and about. It's weird to see the arm chairs they gave us along with the end table and know that we won't see him out on his mower and he won't be coming to mow our yard. He'd been grumpy those last few weeks but he was a good man and a good neighbor to us. I won't forget the brownies he made for us when everyone was over here painting our house for us. But I pray I'll see him again in the kingdom.

This past Saturday we went for a quick trip to my Pop & Nana's. They got to enjoy some time with him where Pop TRIED to impress Gabe with his magic tricks (just don't think Gabe was that into it yet-but he did turn a $1 bill into a $20 for Gabe's piggy bank). We had a delicious lunch and after lunch Pop just stared at his sleeping great grandson. That was a sweet moment. It was a nice time and I'm glad we have the ability to take trips like that.

Tomorrow is Friday...yay! Saturday I plan on straightening up some of the house and then Sunday is $5 day at the zoo so we're going on a family outing. I'm excited to see how Gabe reacts to his first trip to the zoo. I'll be taking lots of pictures with the new camera my hubby got me for my birthday.

Well, getting sleepy so I think I'm going to call it a night. Sweet dreams!

 Pop singing Gabe his famous song.

 Gabe's first feed the ducks trip...can't you tell he's enjoying it? :)

Pop & Nana with Gabe.

No Words...

Okay, so my last post was a bit selfish and petty. I get that now. I hate what caused my attitude to change but I am glad it is changed.

Monday morning, I was really struggling. I broke down in tears a couple of times before I even left the house. Leaving Gabriel this time was harder than when I left after 6 weeks of maternity leave. I cried once I think on the way to work and when I got there, I just was not thrilled. I got everything out of my car and into my classroom in two trips and then sat there overwhelmed at all the stuff I had to do. We had a faculty meeting at 9:00 and by the time I got in and sat down, my phone was going off. It was a text message from a good friend who was wishing me a happy first day back. But then she asked if I had heard about April's husband. I'll admit it took me a second to figure out who she was talking about (I work with an April so at first I was confused) but I quickly figured it out and told her I had not. Then she delivered the horrible news that he had died early that morning in a car accident. I was floored. I had to excuse myself for a moment to call my husband and tell him and I ended up in tears again. This beautiful young lady with 2 children has suddenly lost her husband...not to mention she is still going through treatments for breast cancer. HOW IS THAT FAIR?!?

When I went home for lunch I just collapsed in Jason's arms and cried. There I was complaining about having my room and team switched at school...but how does that tiny inconvenience even come close to comparing to this tragedy? I'll tell you...it doesn't come close AT ALL! I was upset with myself for letting something so small get to me. So I immediately decided my attitude was going to change this year. I was going to CHOOSE to be positive and CHOOSE to be the best I could be no matter what might be thrown my way.

I cannot imagine the pain sweet April is experiencing right now but I told Jason that if it were me...I probably wouldn't want to hear anything anyone had to say. "I'll pray for you?" "Hold your head up?" "Stay strong in the Lord?" None of that is going to bring him back and all the "normal" things people say to other grieving people just seem so trite. I stood in the card section of Target searching for a sympathy card for her for a while and ended up leaving empty handed. None of the cards seemed right. Perhaps that's because none of them were. There is nothing I or any piece of folded card stock can say to make this situation any better. All I can do is pray for God's peace to fall around her and her beautiful kids. Will you pray for her too? Pray for healing in her body and now healing in her heart.

Jason told me that ever since the news on Monday I have been telling him that I love him even more. I didn't realize it but he noticed it and I guess I just want him to know. We are not promised tomorrow so make sure you let the people you love know it.

On a lighter note, my birthday is Friday and Jason and I decided to get away for the weekend to St. Augustine. So, Gabriel will be with my mom Friday and Saturday night. I know I'm going to miss him a lot but hubby and I really need this time together. I'm excited to get away for a relaxing weekend before the kids come back to school on Monday.

Right now, I'm exhausted and am going to bed. So good night.

Please Don't....

...tell me to basically just deal with it. Just because we all have stuff to deal with does not mean I don't have a right to be upset. Yes, I know that there are bigger things in life but to me right now, this is a big one. And I will sure as heck deal with it in any way I see fit. So if pouting and throwing myself a pity party complete with balloons, cake, and confetti is how I feel like dealing with it, then let me be. I will eventually work through it as I do with all things so if you have a problem with how I manage things that upset me, then don't pay attention.

Whew! Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. I'm going back to work tomorrow. And let me tell you...I am overjoyed......NOT! I got to school Thursday in hopes of putting some of my room together and then I was told I was switched to not just another room, but another team entirely. Moving rooms is not the issue here as I really have nothing much to move since I brought it all home with me. But, I am being taken from the team I know and the team I am comfortable with and have a good relationship and foundation with and being put on another team. Now, if you are not a teacher, this might not make any sense to you or sound like a huge issue but it is a really big deal to me. I still consider myself a new teacher (even though this is my 3rd year) because there is still so much I have yet to learn and I feel like the team I've been on has helped me grow professionally. And while I may not enjoy every aspect of my job, those ladies on my team definitely made the rough moments smoother and the hard times easier and the confusing issues clearer. And now I am being ripped from them (dramatic, yes, but I am feeling dramatic tonight) and I am just really upset about it. I'll eventually get over it but when a colleague of mine feels the need to tell me to just put my big girl panties on and deal with it because we all have to deal with stuff...it just really burns my biscuits. Thus, the rant at the beginning.

Anyway, that's my soapbox for this evening...and now I'm stepping off of it. Gotta get ready for bed. The end.

Less than a week...

I have less than a week (5 days to be exact) before I have to go back to work. And that means leaving Gabriel all over again. I have thoroughly enjoyed this summer, although I didn't get nearly the stuff done that I wanted to get done. But, in the last 8 weeks, he has grown so much and learned so much. And I have been there for all of it. Now, I have to go back to work and I just really hope I don't miss anything new.

Here is a list of milestones that we have encountered this summer:
-Starting solids
-First vacation
-Moving to stage 3 diapers
-Crawling (though still perfecting)
-Sitting up alone
-Pulling up in crib to standing position (now does effortlessly)
-Eating puffs
-Eating mum mums by himself
-Sleeping 9-11 hours a night (WooHoo!)

He is growing so fast I can hardly stand it.

I am really not looking forward to this school year...which sucks. I managed to psyche myself up last year but that has not happened yet. I just plain don't want to start. How horrible is that! I wish I could say I love my job...but I don't. I adore the people I work with. I have amazing pod mates and amazing co-workers in my department but the actual job itself leaves something to be desired. I found another open position at the middle school I want to teach at so I've applied and am praying for favor again. I truly want God's will though. I've prayed that if it is His will, then I will get it with no problem and be great at it but if it's not and He wants me to stay at the Hill then I will do so and work as hard as I can to be the best I can. I know this year will be an even more challenging one at the Hill and we have our work cut out for us but if He wants me there, then I will do it as unto Him.

This weekend is my niece's (the one living with us) 1st birthday party. I cannot believe she is going to be ONE already. It feels like just last week that I held her in my arms and bragged to everyone I knew about my beautiful niece. I was one proud Auntie. Now my sweet lil Mileena is going to be one. Her mama and I worked today to get some more stuff done for her Candyland themed party and my hubby made the castle out of cardboard. It looks pretty cool! I've been planning Gabe's party too. I've got the invitation done, the food decided on, the invitation list complete (I think), and part of the centerpieces bought that I plan to do.

Well, we have a Language Arts planning meeting tomorrow from 9-2 so I need to get ready for bed and get some good rest. Good night!  

My Sweet Precious Boy

Gabriel Kayden:
You are 6 months and 11 days old today. I can hardly believe it. Mommy is already planning your 1st birthday party...even though I know you won't remember it.

You are drinking 4 bottles of 7-8 oz. each day and eating 3 meals a day of solids. Perhaps you should be drinking more formula but you have been struggling with constipation lately and trying to feed you the bottle has been a chore, although I enjoy feeding you solids and seeing your face when you figure out what it is your eating and get excited. You like almost everything you've tried which includes: sweet potatoes, green beans, squash, carrots, sweet peas, applesauce, bananas, peaches, pears, mixed veggies, among others. You just recently tried puffs courtesy of your Auntie Charity and you enjoy those too...though I'm trying not to spoil you with those too much.

You flirt with the ladies everywhere we go: the grocery store, restaurants, and especially church. The ladies in the nursery absolutely love you. You just flash that precious toothless grin of yours showing off your dimples. You are sleeping wonderfully these days. You usually go down around 7:30 and sleep until 6 or after. Thankfully, your 'Tay Tay' was around many weekends to give mama some extra sleep when you did not sleep so well.

Except for the last few weeks which we now believe were due to constipation, you are a happy boy. You love bath time, soft blankets, your jumperoo, your new johnny jump up, your stuffed train, your giraffe that sings the ABC's and your monkey blankie. You are starting to crawl. You don't have it down perfectly yet but you sure do get around. We have to constantly watch you though because you like to leap forward and have whacked your head more than once giving mommy a slight heart attack. I always watch you carefully after that to watch for any signs of concussion...call me paranoid. But I only get worried when it actually makes you cry...which isn't as often now.

Keeping you still to change your diaper is like trying to battle a champion wrestler. Mommy and daddy have to lower your crib, something we will probably try to tackle tomorrow because you are just about to pull up to a standing position. I don't doubt in the next few weeks you will. You already pull up on your knees and peer through the bars like you're in jail. It's adorable...and terrifying at the same time. Why are you growing so fast?

I have been so blessed to have the summer off to spend with you but I only have a few more weeks left and then your daddy becomes Mr. Mom again :) I love watching you and daddy play. He was the first one to make you laugh and is still the one that makes you laugh the most. You are becoming quite a chatter box which I adore. I love to listen to your little voice while your pacifier is in your mouth...it is the cutest thing. You love to try and get to Cheyanne, our boxer. You don't mind the kisses but we really don't want her kissing you on the face so she gets scolded a lot...poor dog. I just know when you start walking, you will be terrorizing her enough:)

I absolutely adore you and even though there have been some exhausting and frustrating moments in the last few weeks, that sweet smile makes it all worth it. Daddy and I pray over you every night when we put you down and it has been such a sweet time for us. We consistently pray for the day of your salvation, praying that you will one day have a saving relationship with our Lord. Our prayer is to raise you up in a loving Christian home where we practice what we preach.

Your mommy and daddy love you something fierce and we could not ask for more....