To Cloth or Not to Cloth...

Okay...so I never thought I would EVER hear myself say this but...


I am considering going to cloth diapering. Yes, it can be costly to start up and stock pile and yes, it would be more laundry than I am accustomed to but I have three reasons for considering this:


ONE: Disposable diapers are ridiculously expensive. A box of 96 that costs around $20 lasts maybe two weeks (if we're lucky). That's $40 a month (at least) which is $480 in one year...and even that number sounds lower than it actually is. I figure in less than a year, if it takes between $200-$300 to start cloth diapering, it would have paid for itself in 6 months...maybe even less.


TWO: It is better for the environment. I don't even want to think about the amount of diapers housed in the landfill right now. I'm not a tree hugger or extreme environmentalist but I do care about this planet that God created and I want to be part of protecting it.


THREE: This ties in with #1 but I want to be a good steward of what God has given me. I think if I can find ways to cut our costs down so that in the end we have more to give, He would want me to do that.


I'm not saying that tomorrow I'm going to go out and stockpile cloth diapers and ban disposables from my house FOREVER...but I am thinking about purchasing a few and seeing how it goes. I know that I will still buy disposables for trips and keep them to throw in the diaper bag when we're on the go (unless they have a wonderful system for that too) but I just feel like God is revealing ways that we can make a difference in our lives financially and this might be one of them.


I've been doing my research and thinking about the kinds that I would want to try out first. Our tax refund should be in this week which would help with start up costs. Although, if I could find someone that had a few that would let us try them out first, that would be amazing. I'm still going to research and look around on the internet for some good deals. Maybe I'll get lucky.


Who knows....maybe in the not too distant future I'll be a cloth diapering momma!


Pampered Bottoms in Lakeland sells these online. Here are a few I would consider:

Rump-a-rooz Onesize Cloth Diaper

DryBees All in One Hybrid

FuzziBunz Perfect Size

So if you're a cloth diapering momma, give this 'could-be' some advice, tips, pointers, do's & don'ts. She'd appreciate it!

The Fast...

About 8 days ago, my husband and I embarked on a 10 day fast from distracting media. So, for the last 8 days, I have not been on facebook or pinterest, Jason has not played his video games, and we have not watched anything from netflix...except for Sesame Street (and one movie I watched with my mom)...and that's more for Gabriel (although, I must admit, I do love Elmo).

It has been....

Exhilarating!

Every morning I get up and read about 3 chapters in the gospels (something I was supposed to be doing for weeks with my church family and fell behind....because of aforementioned distractions). My husband and I are both reading books on our own and one together. He is reading "Crazy Love," I am reading "The Power of a Praying Wife," and together we are reading "Forgotten God." It has been great. Last night, during dinner, instead of turning on the TV, we just talked. We hadn't really done that in a while and it was so nice to just talk about all sorts of things.

I feel like my energy comes from the Word every morning. We are praying more specifically for certain things. We can both feel God working away, chiseling away the stuff that doesn't need to be in our lives and molding us into the beings He wants us to be. It doesn't always feel good, since He does like to reveal areas of our lives that need serious work, but while it may not feel good...I know it IS good.

I haven't even missed facebook. I'm sure I'm missing out on some news here and there but I would just go on there and spend way too much time doing mindless things. I would hear God telling me to get off and spend time with Him and I just wouldn't. I was being disobedient.

When our fast is up in a couple of days, I will go on facebook just to check and update, maybe upload some pictures of my boy so others can stay abreast of what's happening....but I've decided that 10 minutes a day is my max. I will check it only after I have spent time with my God, son, and husband each day and only at the end of the day. If I feel like it starting to take up too much time again, I will do another fast.

I have such a far way to go and I know I will never be where I NEED to be....but I can always be headed in that direction. I can stay on the narrow path following Jesus, daily dying to myself, bearing my cross, and hopefully becoming less of me and more of Him.

Jesus is pretty clear about what it takes to follow Him. And I can honestly say, I haven't been doing that very well. But I am trying. I am taking steps to really follow Him.

 It's not easy. But it's worth it.

Love Intoxication & Distraction Detoxification

Love.
I seem to be struggling with that in my profession these days.
I know that when these kids deserve it least is when they need it most but it is HARD.
The same complaints keep cycling through my head: "they don't listen," "they don't seem to care," "they aren't learning anything," "what's a person gotta do to get some respect," "Is it EVEN worth it?"

And then I think...

Couldn't God say the same about us?
He could. He could just decide He's had enough and smite us all. But instead, He loves us. Right. Where. We. Are. At.

That's humbling.

I've been doing some soul searching lately...or maybe the better term is "soul scrutinizing." I just finished reading "Crazy Love," a book by Francis Chan and it has completely shifted my thoughts and views on being a follow of Christ. Sad that a book other than the Bible was the culprit here, but it's true. He didn't write anything in his book that is not backed up by Biblical truth...and yet, we still miss it.

I am first in line to tell you that I am not perfect. But if I were, then I wouldn't need Jesus, and this whole post would be pointless now wouldn't it? But I'm not perfect and I do need Jesus....like I need air to breathe. Do I believe that? Yes, I really do.

I've always viewed my walk with Christ as a comparison to others. "Compared to others" I am doing pretty well. I try not to cuss, I don't drink or smoke, I try to be kind to others, I try to give when I can, and I try to fit in some bible reading here and there when I get the time.

But THAT, my friends, is why Christians are the main reason so many people don't want anything to do with what we have to offer. We compare ourselves to the rest of the world and think, "Oh, look at me. I'm doing way better than that guy over there." In reality, we should be viewing our life under the magnifying glass of the Holy Word of God. We (me being at the top of the list here) need to stop comparing ourselves to the rest of the population and compare ourselves to the profile of a Follower of Christ that Jesus outlines for us in His teaching.

What does that follower look like? A bit like this:
-Loves his enemies & does good to those that hate him (Matt 5:44)
-Does not boast about his charitable deeds (Matt 6:3-4)
-Lays up treasures in Heaven & not on earth (Matt 6:20)
-Seeks FIRST (before anything else) the kingdom of God (Matt 6:33)
-Does not judge others (Matt 7:1)
-Hated by others for His sake (Matt 10:22)
-Loves Christ MORE than his father, mother, or children....MORE than anyone/anything (Matt 10:37)
The follower denies himself daily, takes up his own cross, and follows after Christ with reckless abandon and childlike faith.

When I stop comparing myself to others in the world, and compare myself to the follower Christ describes, I'm not doing so hot. Matter of fact, I'm a miserable failure. But then again, that's what grace and forgiveness are for.

I want to be the follower that Jesus describes. I want to get to the point where I am daily offending people with the Gospel because we carry an offensive message. It is not easy. Every single day I must decrease and Christ must increase so that eventually, the outside world will no longer see me but they will see Christ that lives in me.

I changed my blog title. While I will still post the joys and challenges of raising an active and precious little boy, my life needs to be more about Christ than anything or anyone else. That's a tough pill to swallow for a mother. Mothers instinctively put their children first. It's our natural tendency but Christ clearly states that there is to be no one before Him. With that said, the title is now "Confessions of Someone Just Trying to Get it Right." This is my new journey of letting go and letting God.

Starting tonight, my husband and I are going on a media fast. For 10 days (or maybe longer depending on what happens), we are going to fast from media distractions: me from facebook and pinterest, he from video games, and we from netflix. We don't have cable so no worries there. We are going to unplug from the media world and plug into the God world. In our spare time that we would normally waste browsing, watching, listening, etc., we are going to dig deeper into God's word together and really focus on growing our relationship in Christ both individually and as a couple. I will still allow myself to blog if I have something I need to say that I don't want to forget: perhaps snippets of what we are learning. But, for the most part, I will be unplugged from the World Wide Web.

Perhaps there are areas of your life that you are distracted in as well. I challenge you too...go on a distraction fast. Fast from those little distractor demons in your lives and dive into what God has for you. I'm excited about the next 10 days and what God is going to reveal.

If you do decide to take on the 10 day distraction fast, leave me a comment and tell me what you are fasting from...I will be glad to pray for you.

Love in Christ!

Time - Why Won't it Stop?

This Friday, my sweet precious boy will be a year old. Where does the time go? I know that is a so overused question but seriously, I feel like there is a black hole in my life somewhere just sucking all the time out of it. It's lost and gone forever. I have been so emotional lately (my poor husband). I wondered out loud today if this was a normal mother thing...if all mothers go a little crazy at the one year mark because they realize that in like 2 more seconds, that little child is going to be all grown up. I've been weepy off and on all weekend and it's not even officially his birthday.

But in the midst of it all, God found a way to speak to me....on the way home from a last minute Publix run at 9:30 this morning (mid cake baking, I ran out of powdered sugar). I just started crying randomly again (go figure!) but this time they were tears of pure joy. I just thanked God for the blessing of that sweet little boy that I am certain I don't thank Him enough for and then I just started giving thanks for all the blessings in my life that I tend to take for granted sometimes. I asked Him, "God, what did I do to deserve such goodness?" And that's when He whispered the answer to me: "That's the beauty of grace, My daughter. You don't deserve it. And yet, I still give it to you." Oh, how humbling. I began to ask forgiveness for not trusting Him like I should...for being worried about finances. I mean, for the last 24 years of my life, He has provided. So why on earth would I doubt that now? I told Him from now on, our finances were in His hands and I would trust in His timing for this railroad job for Jason and trust that He would provide what we needed WHEN we needed it. And what do I get in return? Jason got paid $75 today for a job he did for a family member several months ago. Others were worried about him not being paid but for some reason, we didn't sweat it. And in our time of need, wondering if we would have enough to make it to the end of the month to my payday, God came through...like He always has, always does, and always will.

Aside from that, I know that this week will end up being busy and I probably won't get a chance to post this so I'm going to now. This is my poem to my precious little boy, nothing out of this world but just trying to put into words how this 1st birthday business it affecting me.

I Won't Blink

It was love at first sight
My heart was yours
Not a minute old
And I loved you to my core

Time stood still
If only for a moment
But when I saw you
I knew you were heaven sent

For only God can create
Such a beautiful gift
Because you, my son
Give my spirit a lift

I cannot believe
That a year has passed
If I could just stop time
Or make these moments last

I only wish
That I could guarantee
That years from now
You'll still need me

Oh sweet baby boy
You must know
How much I love you
And every second it grows

I know I can't stop time
That's silly to think
So from here on out
I just won't blink.

Tebowing?

I know that I might catch a lot of flack for this…that is if anyone even reads this blog and actually disagrees...especially if the creators of tebowing.com caught wind of this. But I’m going to write it anyway.

Let me first say that I am a huge fan of Timothy Tebow. I was born a Florida Gator fan and have remained so through their terribly terrible seasons, their okay seasons, the Tebow seasons, and yes, the post Tebow seasons.  I became an even bigger fan during those famed Tebow days, not only because he brought us some great seasons, but more so for what he stood for. As a Christian, I wholeheartedly respect that man and how he tries to use his platform to glorify Christ. I have just one issue. This issue is NOT his fault. He did not coin the term nor does he really have any control over what his rabid fans do to honor him & I doubt it’s a battle he would choose to fight anyway seeing as how he has too many.

This new term, “tebowing,” has become the newest thing. I’ve seen the ads on the side of facebook but just recently read an editorial by the NY Times about the whole anomaly. Yes, the editorial is a month old but I came across it while searching for editorials for my students to complete a project. My co-worker had a copy of this one and it really interested me. In the piece, “Tebowing on the Gridiron, and Off,” it talks about Tebow’s pre-game “posture” of taking a knee and lowering his head to his fist before a game. The fact that Tebow does this does not surprise or shock me. He is a disciple of Christ having a talk with his best friend before a game. And wait for it…here’s the clencher…it’s actually NOT called Tebowing as so many have begun to say. It’s called PRAYING. And no matter how amazing some think this is, it has actually been done long before Tebow  was even heard of and hopefully, it will be done long after he is gone.

I have nothing but respect for a man who faithfully kneels to his Creator to say a prayer before a game. Does he pray for a win? Perhaps. But after reading his book Through my Eyes, I rather believe that he prays that his actions in the game would glorify the Lord and that he would play his best.

With all that said, I have not watched one Denver Broncos game, mostly because when I did have cable, I could never find the game and now that I don’t have cable, well I simply can’t. But when I see the thousands of posts about him on a Sunday evening on facebook, I faithfully google the Broncos and check out the updates of his latest 11^th hour win…because, well, that is his trend as of late.

My problem with the term “tebowing” stems not from any disappointment with the man himself; it stems from the fact that the term for a reverent conversation with the Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, has been degraded to a term named after an imperfect HUMAN. On tebowing.com’s site, it lists the (for lack of a better word) formal definition as “(vb) to get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.” Well, that’s all fine and dandy but now you have all these pictures of people supposedly “tebowing” in front of different back drops. But if the definition rings true, how many of those pictures are really legit? Are those people all ACTUALLY praying while in that position? I dare say (and yes, this is absolutely a judgment on my part) not.

I fear, and it has already begun, that Tebow is going to be held in higher regard than the one that he himself is trying to glorify. Don’t believe me? Check out Mark Kriegel’s most recent article here. The most jaw dropping line for me? “I can’t think of an athlete, who has been judged by such bipolar standards. Tebow began the season as a bum. Then he became a savior (not just the garden-variety redeemer of a franchise, but spoken of as a true messianic figure).” Let’s get one thing straight here, people. Tim Tebow is NOT a savior. And if he were sitting with me while I was typing this, I think he would be the first to agree. There is only ONE savior and that is Jesus Christ…the very person that Tebow uses his platform to bring praise and honor to so stop twisting it. Tebow is a wonderful man, a great football player, and a good quarterback but he is not a savior. Let’s reserve that term for the one man who deserves it…the One who came to give His life so that we could live the lives that we do.

As wonderful as Tebow is, he is still human, and if we continue to put him up high on this pedestal, one of these days, a lot of people are going to be disappointed. If you think he is beyond messing up, you have another thing coming. Tim Tebow, like the rest of us Christ followers, is just an imperfect and ordinary man saved by grace who just so happens to have an extraordinary platform to bring honor to his Savior, Jesus Christ. If the rest of the sports world can’t get that through their thick skulls, then we are going to have a serious mess to clean up one day.

With all that said, my respect for the man remains unwavering as does my faith in the One that he and I both worship – our Heavenly Father – and HE, not any man, should be first!

A Glance Back and a Look Forward

This year has been a year of firsts for us. Jason and I bought our first home and welcomed our first child into the world. I became a working mommy and Jason ended up becoming a stay at home dad. We also decided to leave Midway and join Fuel Community Church with so many others that we are connected with.

This year has been a good one. I said goodbye to last school year which was awful and welcomed a new one which hasn't been too shabby. We've watched for an entire year our baby boy grow and learn and discover the world around him. It has also been one of loss for many, including us. First it was Bubba Monroe, a member of our church, then our neighbor across the street passed from surgery complications, the neighbor I lived next to for 17 years died for very different reasons, and then a friend from high school died suddenly and tragically. Four deaths...but this year also brought four new little guys into the world. First was Preston, my nephew. Then was my amazing son, Gabriel. Then was my friend Charisse's adorable little guy, Anson and just a month or so ago was my friend Ciara's handsome new addition, Josiah. Others were born too but these are the ones I consider myself closest too.

Gabriel has spent time with both sets of great grandparents on my side (something not many kids are lucky enough to do). They are in love with him and I think the feeling is mutual. In just the last month or so, Gabriel has learned to wave, clap, blow raspberries, stand on his own without pulling himself up and is getting steadier on his feet.

We spent our first Christmas with him in Alabama with my grandparents, my mom, and her roomie. He enjoyed it and it was nice to spend time in a place that holds so many special memories for me.

As lovely as 2011 has been, it has not been without its challenges and I am not sorry to see it go. I am looking forward to 2012. I feel like 2012 is our year. I have written down many goals and this time next year, I expect to look back and say that I accomplished every one. Keep me accountable people. I'll need all the support, prayer, and help I can get. So here it is. This is what I wrote down in my journal. This is my look forward...

New Year's Goals 2012
1. Read through the Bible completely.
2. Spend quiet time with God daily.
3. Read at least one book a month.
4. Get some form of exercise daily.
5. Eat healthier, count calories, and treat my body like the temple of God.
6. Keep my house clean and get organized.
7. Get out of credit card debt and save money.
8. Set aside at least one night a month to do something special with my husband (babysitter required).
9. Take more pictures - of Gabriel and us and everyone.
10. Be more positive. Smile more. Don't take life so seriously. Find the good in every person that drives me crazy. Pray. Give. Be kind. Laugh. Be who I was and am created to be.


Bonus goals: Finish my book! 
                    Learn a new skill!


 I will accomplish these goals in 2012. These are long term  and will last all year. I will not give up. If I falter or fall, I will get back up. I am claiming 2012 as the year I do what I was meant to do. I will not fail. I will not listen to Satan's lies. I can and will do all these things through Christ because He alone gives me strength. I will succeed. 

Goodbye, 2011. Look out, 2012!

All In, Souled Out, Fueled Up

My oh my has it ever been a busy couple of weeks! I feel like it's been FOREVER since I've updated.

Christmas break begins today and I could not be more ready for it. I love my students but sometimes they DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!

Tonight I'm going out with a ton of co-workers to Outback. Should be good times!

So much I want to say..

A few weeks ago, we started meeting with the new church plant. Yes, we did decide to join with the men from our previous church. We're meeting at one of the men's houses and it has been absolutely awesome. We have totally and completely caught the vision - reaching the lost of Lakeland and beyond and loving them right where they're at. We're not concerned about making money for the church itself but using that money to help those in need. Case in point - the ENTIRE offering Sunday night (that's when we meet) went to a family with an 18 month old with Leukemia. That's what it's all about...simply being "all in, souled out, and fueled up!"

So, Sunday will be my last official day at Midway. I committed to the Christmas special so I stayed to do that but after Sunday, we will officially leave. I still love the people there and it absolutely has nothing to do with anyone personally but we just prayed and felt God pulling us to FUEL. In God's timing, the building will be in North Lakeland (right where we live) but we're not worried about a building right now. We're concerned with reaching people for Christ.

I've started writing a new book. I really like where I'm headed with it and can't wait to see how it turns out. I just wish I had a nice space to work at. Right now I'm using the computer that's hooked to our big screen. Nice 52 inch monitor but I'd rather have a cozy little haven to work in where I can keep my stuff organized and can write and type and not monopolize the TV.

Hubby has a possible job opportunity with CSX - the railroad. This job would mean a world of difference to our family financially so we are praying hard that he gets it. It would allow us to pay off debt, fix up the house, GIVE! We both have such a heart to give but just don't have it. I was worried about child care but have been emailing back and forth with a sweet woman who is starting one here in north Lakeland. She seems great and we have an appointment for a private tour of her home daycare on January 7th. Her prices are very close to regular daycare costs BUT I can have the peace of mind that he is being given the proper attention because she will only have 8 kids at maximum. Her philosophies and eveything that I have read sound awesome! And the cost won't be an issue AT ALL if he gets this job. So pray, pray, pray! If When he gets this job, after we pay off debt and save up some money, I will probably take a year or two or more off to stay home with Gabe, focus on my writing, and hopefully be able to homeschool when that time comes.

Well, I'm going to try and get some stuff cleaned up around here before my hubby and baby boy get home. MERRY CHRISTMAS!